by Cynthia Bischoff | Sep 7, 2011 | Heartliving
The word “synchronicity” was coined by Carl Jung, famous Swiss Psychiatrist, to mean “meaningful coincidence.” For example, you need a service and two people mention the same provider, unsolicited, in one day. You’ve been thinking about calling a person and you suddenly see him or her while running errands.
Our lives have a narrative structure, and synchronistic events often reflect turning points and directional arrows in our narrative. They can also indicate that we are in a state of “flow,” and synchronicities have been referred to as the “angel’s way” of speaking with us.
When we are in a challenging place in our lives and without actively seeking support, we may find that help arrives in the form of an accidental sequence of events which occurs exactly as we need in order to assist us in moving through a circumstance or event.
People often report the following synchronicities:
♥ It is common for telephones, addresses, and wrong numbers to crop up in many stories so that individuals may connect.
♥ Synchronistic events are almost always present for two people to meet the first time or an important subsequent time.
♥ It is considered synchronistic when seeming bad luck turns out to have a positive significance.
♥ Sometimes something will delay you, and the delay leads to a more fortunate outcome.
♥ The more obstinate we become about the way we think something “should” be, the more likely synchronicities will come to speak to us.
♥ The kind of child we have is always synchronistic–sometimes making parents confront their own shadows, develop their own strengths, and so on.
Most important, if we pay attention to the meaningful coincidences in our lives, we can question their significance. Are they directional messages, are they action-oriented, are they symbolic?
When an extraordinary, meaningful occurrence has significance for us, we should question how we might let it guide or change our story.
by Cynthia Bischoff | Aug 31, 2011 | Heartliving
Self-esteem can be seen as the combination of how you perceive yourself and the value you place on the self you see. You have core self-esteem which is the value you place on yourself at your core, and situational self-esteem which is the value you place on yourself determined by situational factors (work situation at the moment, weight at the moment).
Certain researchers say that core self-esteem is in place by age 4 and is determined by how your caregivers responded to you. No matter what, it is exciting to know that your core self-esteem can be improved. How?
♥ If you suffer from any thoughts of being a victim, expand your awareness so that you are able to decide that victim consciousness or self-blame is simply toxic now. Let it go.
♥ Make a nonjudgmental inventory of your talents and strengths and set goals for accepting them and continuing to improve yourself.
♥ Stop neglecting your own needs to take care of others. Be compassionate and loving, but not disrespecting of yourself.
♥ Do your very best at any given moment (it will vary depending upon what your circumstances are).
♥ Remember that positive self-esteem is not created by “all or none” thinking. Allow yourself to risk-take and realize that even seeming “mistakes” can help you grow!
♥ Let go of the cultural standards of beauty and FEEL your beauty from WITHIN. Offer that as a gift to yourself and everyone around you. People are drawn to others who feel good about themselves.
♥ Learn to speak about yourself with directness and honesty. Express your integrity through the harmony of what you say and do.
♥ Celebrate your successes!
by Cynthia Bischoff | Aug 27, 2011 | Heartliving
What is forgiveness? Why does one forgive? For those of us who have been pained by another person, particularly a person of a past relationship, to forgive may feel impossible. It may feel that the act of forgiveness would be a way of saying that the painful event or relationship did not occur. It is important to understand that forgiving does not erase the reality of the incidents that occurred.
In contrast, the act of forgiving simply opens up a space in the forgiver from which to live more fully.
The beauty of forgiving or being forgiven is that we are the ones who heal as we forgive. In the words of Oscar Wilde, “. . . it is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.”
When we do not forgive a person, we are financing the ill feelings or the lack of forgiveness with our energy. Lack of forgiveness then can lead to illness in the person who is unable to forgive. It becomes like a sword with a curved blade. Or in some cases, you may choose not to forgive because there is a feeling of power and control. This form of power is NOT true power. There is no power in holding a victim stance.
How do you forgive?
At some point you have to retell the story in a more empowered way and be willing to let it go. Instead of holding yourself to be a victim, you must be able to witness a “bigger picture” than what you believe occurred. What did you learn from this experience? How did this event contribute to your overall growth and development?
Forgiving is about letting go of the past and deciding that you are now the hero and author of your life story. Forgiving is about comfort, kindness, and gentleness to your own soul. Above all, it about liberating yourself!
by Cynthia Bischoff | Aug 24, 2011 | Heartliving
We all have a shadow self. This shadow has been referred to by many names, for example, “the dark self,” “the disowned self,” “the repressed self,” to name a few.
So what is meant by one’s “shadow”? Carl Jung, a famous psychiatrist, spoke of the shadow as “. . .the other in us, the other that embarrasses or shames us, . . .the negative side of the personality, those unpleasant qualities we like to hide. . . .”
Often we disown or “cut off” our shadow self. We make statements like “I’m not angry,” “I don’t feel sad,” and so on as a way of denying a part of ourselves. We may have been conditioned not to allow ourselves to feel this shadow piece, perhaps in order to stay in control. Our shadow might also be a very positive side of ourselves that we have kept dark. In other words, our shadow could be a strength of ours that we have kept dark or hidden because of being fearful of expressing it.
Oftentimes at various junctures on our journey we meet our shadow more fully. We may get in touch with those repressed parts of ourselves that we can no longer deny. We encounter what author Gary Zukav might term “holy moments” in which we are challenged to become conscious of something inside of us as a way of having an opportunity to become more aware of who we really are.
It’s common to meet our shadow self when our deeper needs and values tend to change direction. Greeting the shadow self may even call for breaking old habits and cultivating unrecognized talents.
If we avoid confronting our shadow self, we will remain unaware of what life has to teach us. Avoidance may make us feel safer, yet the safety can create a kind of living death.
Everything with depth casts a shadow. The shadow is the quality that makes us human. As much as we might wish to reject it in order to try to be “perfect,” it is the shadow that gives us our humanity. Embracing the shadow as we move through our lives is what creates our healing or wholeness.
by Cynthia Bischoff | Aug 20, 2011 | Heartliving
Do you sometimes catch yourself verbalizing thoughts that are self-defeating? Do you hope desperately for something yet limit what you think you deserve, thereby dividing yourself against yourself?
Or do you find yourself able to understand that your thoughts do, in fact, create your reality, yet still feel unable to move your awareness into any conscious action to change?
It is my view that awareness is the first step toward conscious living.
One must understand the dynamics of thought and how our thoughts create our reality. So how do you move through awareness into action? A necessary second step is willingness—that is, the willingness to hold consciousness in the moment toward what you wish to have or be.
For example, I may desire a more loving relationship with my spouse. My desire may not be congruent with my thoughts. Throughout the day, I may be lamenting that I do not have a loving relationship and focusing on the lack and the desire.
So what can you do to align your thoughts with the reality that you wish to create?
♥ Begin to act as though you already are what and where you would like to be. Concentrate less on the behavior and more on your thoughts.
♥ Stop yourself from verbalizing or thinking thoughts that are self-defeating. Bring your awareness back to the present and remind yourself that you are your thoughts.
♥ Use the power of visualization to support your conscious thoughts.
♥ See yourself manifesting what you desire. If you wish to be out of debt, visualize yourself out of debt. Add an affirmation that you repeat consciously each day: “I am free of debt” OR “I draw wealth to myself.” Choose words that resonate for you and that match your positive visualization.
♥ Marvel at all the wealth you actually have—water, air, food, sun, clothes, shelter, friends, love, laughter. If you find yourself lamenting over what you do not have, remind yourself of two things you do have. A wonderful thing happens when you delight in how really wealthy you are—more and more of what you want and need flows to you.
♥ Above all, be willing to do whatever it takes to make your visualization happen.
You may find it helpful to use the Heartliving mantra: “Ask the universe for what you need. Visualize yourself receiving it. Know that you will receive it. For you are worthy.”
The word “synchronicity” was coined by Carl Jung, famous Swiss Psychiatrist, to mean “meaningful coincidence.” For example, you need a service and two people mention the same provider, unsolicited, in one day. You’ve been thinking about calling a person and you suddenly see him or her while running errands.
