Your partner doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. Often we think that if we can just change this or that about our partner, the relationship would finally work. Does this sound familiar?
Some common-sense guidelines can help you to improve your relationship. These guidelines are based on effective principles of communication and should be practiced by both of you.
- Maintain a friendship as well as a love relationship. Most couples who stay together do so because of a sense of friendship and respect that exists long after the romantic sparks fade. Friends generally like and accept each other as they genuinely are.
- Don’t expect your partner to satisfy all of your relationship needs. Take good care of yourself. Maintain healthy friendships outside of your primary relationship, and you will be less apt to feel that you need your partner to “complete” you.
- Practice active listening. Sometimes all your partner wants you to do is just listen. So listen carefully; then paraphrase back to your partner what you believe you heard him or her say. This may feel awkward at first, but it greatly helps to keep the communication clear. Talking over each other or not acknowledging what we’ve heard causes monologues rather than dialogues.
- Know what you do want and communicate that clearly. We sometimes get stuck in repeating what we don’t want or like and don’t communicate clearly what we do want. We can also use arguments as a way of getting attention or engaging in drama. Find a more productive way to be in relationship.
- Fight fairly. The language we use during a conflict is critical to our relationship. Calling each other names and blaming each other will dissolve trust and respect faster than anything else. And if this has already happened, you can commit to starting over now. Remember “up until now”!
- Commit to change. Know that a healthy relationship is one that continues to evolve. Establish regular conversations with your partner to be sure important issues are being addressed and understood.
- Soften your heart. Of all the tips, perhaps this is most important of all!
For more strategies on creating effective, loving relationships, attend the Heartliving “Power & Love” Workshop on May 30, 2015, at the Virginia Beach Resort & Conference Center, Virginia Beach, VA. Click “Register” for more details and to sign-up: REGISTER