by Cynthia Bischoff | Jan 26, 2013 | Heartliving
Feeling connected is important to you from the beginning to the end of your life (whether you think this is true or not).
Children especially want to know that they belong in their world and that they will be okay, whether they can express this or not.
In fact, do you know what research shows is a child’s greatest fear? A child’s greatest fear is abandonment.
This plays out in adult life as fear not only of abandonment, but also of rejection, of loss, of betrayal, and so on. Interestingly, some people who are in a situation they find difficult will even leave others first so that they will not be “left.”
So, back to the child and how this dynamic plays out–as the vulnerable child grows, the child begins to move about, and a conflict between a need for both separation and connection generally occurs at some point. While there is a need for connection, what is not as easily understood is that each of us also at some point has a need for separation-—to be able to stand independently on our own.
So from childhood on, while we may venture to be independent, we may also wish to remain connected. These opposing needs for both connection and separation play out continually throughout our lives and affect our sense of self (who we think we are, who we become).
How this may play out in a relationship is that partners may have a need to be close to each other, yet at the same time an equal need to have space and distance.
With open communication and trust, a healthy balance can usually be achieved.
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jan 19, 2013 | Heartliving
I’ve had many roles in this life, but one that I enjoyed very much was the teaching of literature which I did for over 10 years. I always appreciated how literature can reflect well crafted slices of life. For example, in this quote from Shakespeare in All’s Well that Ends Well, the line reads:
“The web of our own life is of mingled yarn. . . .”
I’ve always loved these words because they give me a visual image that is comforting about our lives. I do see my life as a tapestry—-and this tapestry at times can seem full of loose threads and knotted yarn. I sometimes reflect on how one painful or joyful thing is contributing to the bigger picture.
All of us experience challenges that may at times seem overwhelming, and I think we all wonder at times, how can I possibly overcome the circumstances I am finding myself in?
But we do overcome. And we find along the way that the greatest challenges almost always lead to the greatest growth. Or I like to say, the stumbling blocks on our path can become the stepping stones.
So if we go back to this tapestry we are weaving that we call our lives, we can hope that at the end of our lives, when we turn our life’s work of art over, we will witness a picture that is perfectly what it needed to be.
The knotted yarn, the loose threads–all of it had a purpose,
and in fact, in the end, without the presence of these seeming imperfections, the picture would not be as clear or as perfect as it ends up being.
So, you see from this point of view, we also understand that everything in our lives is happening with some sort of purpose—-all of it—-so that we may grow and learn, and create our world’s meaning.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that life is predestined, but rather that through the choices you make throughout your life, you are discovering not only your world, but also yourself.
Many blessings on this journey of self-discovery!
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jan 5, 2013 | Heartliving
It’s a new year! How do you hold the most positive thoughts for what you wish to create for this next year? Do you believe in miracles?
Some might say it is unrealistic to expect a miracle, yet the word “miracle” has actually come a long way from its original meaning. It is derived from the Latin “miraculum” which means “to cause wonder and astonishment,” and “mirus,” which means “wonderful to see.” A miracle, therefore, is something that is extraordinary, inexplicable, and unexplainable by normal standards.
According to Webster, the standard definition for a miracle is something that goes against the normal laws of nature and is usually ascribed to some super power. In fact, virtually all religions express a belief in miracles.
In our current society, we are taught to believe only in those things we can logically understand. We are generally not taught that Universal Law reveals that we have limitless potential or that Universal Power can be used to work miracles in our lives.
What we need to know is that miracles are not logical BUT that we are connected to an unlimited source of energy and power as human beings. Most of what I have accomplished in my lifetime that seemed “unreal” by practical standards or impossible to others was very possible to me.
To open yourself to a miracle, pay attention to these principles:
- Stillness: Empty your mind through practicing stillness and moments of quiet receptiveness.
- Alignment: Align yourself with your heart and practice compassion in your world. Know that everything is energy (you included) and everything is available to you.
- Request: Make a request that is clear and decisive.
- Visualize and Feel: Elevate yourself to a higher state. Envision yourself happy, healthy, and whole, receiving what you have requested. See and feel this. Practice every day going into your “inner workshop” to see and feel yourself “having” what you have requested.
- Gratitude: Practice an attitude of gratitude. Give thanks for what you know you will receive.
Okay, you’re ready. Now set up the conditions and believe your miracle into being. Here’s to a great year!
by Cynthia Bischoff | Dec 29, 2012 | Heartliving
Our year 2012 was a wonderful year of learning. And yippee. . . we made it to this exciting new year of 2013!
Each year I send out a divination exercise that I do for myself. So many people ask me to send it each year, I have created this blog!
Here is the divination exercise below. I wish you the VERY BEST in 2013 and look forward to a powerful year together!
Dear Hearts:
I am thinking of all of you at the end of 2012 and reflecting on the past year. I have sincere gratitude for all the spiritual work you’ve done and continue to do. Thank you so much for allowing me to help you in any way that I have.
At the beginning of the New Year, I often spend an hour or so doing an exercise alone that allows me to reflect with hope as well as provide insight for the coming year. I want to share with you what I do and a method I have used in case this would interest you. I have done this for many years. If you read this after the start of the year, no problem, since this can be done any time of year. It just happens to be a new year’s ritual for me.
You can choose a divination tool (deck of divination or spiritual cards, etc.) or more than one tool.
Divination Session
(1) First, I light a candle and listen to soft music, spending about 10 minutes quietly reflecting on the previous year. I ask that my actions from that year be blessed and purified to seed new actions in the coming year.
(2) Next, I focus on the coming year. Using a chart or written sheet with questions and spaces for answers (people have created neat ways to record), I ask the following questions and draw at least one card per question to see what the “energy” of that question might bring. I then record my answers. I am able throughout the new year to reflect on the questions and cards drawn that I drew in this exercise. Here are the questions I ask and maybe some of these may inspire you:
- What overall energy best describes the teachings for me in 2012?
- What overall energy will best help me in the New Year 2013?
- If (when) faced with challenges for growth in 2013, what is the best energy for me to remember?
- To balance my daily living for 2013, what do I need to remember (regarding doing/being)?
- In order to manifest my heart’s desires for 2013, what energy would be helpful?
- For each month (I list them out), what will give me insight into the energy of that month?
- What energy best reflects the “mental” picture for 2013?
- What energy best reflects the “emotional” picture for 2013?
- What energy best reflects the “physical” picture for 2013?
- What energy best reflects the “spiritual” picture for 2013?
(3) I post this sheet with the completed questions and comments on a bulletin board or back of a door simply to glance at it periodically throughout the year for reflection. (By the way, if you are in a relationship, you can also choose individual as well as joint cards for certain questions.)
Many blessings to you in 2013! –With gratitude, Cynthia
by Cynthia Bischoff | Dec 22, 2012 | Heartliving
The holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate your faith, to connect with family and friends, and to welcome in a new year. Yet this is also a time when your balance can be greatly affected because of changes in routine, extra duties, and feelings triggered by old memories.
Here are a few tips toward keeping things together this holiday season:
Make a list to stay organized. Write down things you’d like to accomplish and then create a prioritized approach. Would you like to give neighbors homemade baked gingerbread? Of course you would. Is there really time to do this in your schedule this year? Just be sure you have enough time or are simply realistic.
Ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by certain tasks that you believe have to be performed, be sure to ask others to pitch in. For example, holiday meals can be pot luck. Young children can help by doing activities that are easier, like dusting, vacuuming, or helping with a pet. You can ask a neighborhood teen to take your kids to a matinee so that you can complete certain holiday preparations.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. De-emphasize the idea that everything has to be perfect. Set realistic expectations for yourself. We are bombarded by magazine images showing gorgeous decorations and incredible meals. Remind yourself that a staff of people both designed and prepared those glossy spreads! Sometimes “more is less” and simple ideas can be very heart-felt.
Stay connected for support. Take a break from your holiday routine by meeting up with or calling a friend to chat briefly. Letting out your feelings to a supportive friend can greatly help you relieve holiday stress and anxiety. This can be great for both of you.
Do what you need to do to restore yourself. Don’t leave off your list a healthy walk or simple exercise or a nice healthy salad. Even a moment or two of quiet can be helpful–listen to a meditation tape or a favorite CD, practice yoga poses, or take a calming bath.
Hold a witness perspective if an issue arises. It helps if I remind myself that the things I was concerned about last year, the year before, or the years before that (!), I no longer remember. Most often we don’t. So take a deep breath, fast-forward to your 85th birthday, and ask yourself, “Will I even remember this issue then?” Probably not. So enjoy the good stuff and let go of all else!
Have a wonderful holiday and a new year of blessings. With love and gratitude, Cynthia
