by Cynthia Bischoff | Jul 9, 2011 | Heartliving
Are you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?
An organized life will allow you to have less chaos, more time, and even better mental health!
Why do we become disorganized? First, the creation of physical chaos is a result that originates with your very thoughts. When you are distracted or overly committed, you are less likely to create or have order. You can clear your mind first or clear your clutter. If you are in doubt, start with clearing your closet! It’s amazing what that simple act can do to calm your mind and your life. And that’s just the beginning. . . .
While you may be attached to your clothes (even those you haven’t worn or those that don’t fit any longer), please know that weight and stuff are simply barriers against a world we think is threatening. When you shed the excess you reconnect with your life.
Here are some simple steps to get started:
Step 1: Choose one clothes closet and take everything out of it. If the closet is a walk-in or large, you can do this in stages.
Step 2: Decide the best and most efficient way to hang or store items (this may require some shelves or added pole).
Step 3: When you are set, add each item back one at a time after you have decided that you will KEEP it. In other words, if it doesn’t fit, isn’t the right color, you have two of them, etc., you need to let it go! There are wonderful charities longing for that piece.
Step 4: Decide on ONE type of hanger. Avoid thin wire hangers that are harder to line up or that get tangled with each other. Choose the same plastic style, preferably a thinner type to maximize space.
Step 5: Hang all blouses, all pants, all dresses, all suits—in the same section. This will help you figure out what you really do have, make it easier to find a particular item, and help you maintain order.
Step 6: Make sure that all items are placed facing the same direction. It’s easier to see the front of an item.
Step 7: Hang all colors together in sections if you prefer that method. It’s easier to color coordinate what you are wearing.
Step 8: Shoes and purses can be lined up in order on shelves by color.
Finally, if the closet is large enough or there is any wall space at all that is visible, hang a small framed reminder, like “I am beautiful!” (you and the closet).
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jul 6, 2011 | Heartliving
“It’s too much,” my client told me. “I just can’t deal with it all. I was able to do it for a long time, and I now simply don’t have the energy.” My coaching client (whom I will call Anna) was anxious, stressed, often unable to sleep. And she had become angry with herself for being unable to keep up the usual pace. The usual pace, of course, would tire an Olympian.
Although she wasn’t totally aware of it, she did know her problem: “There was too much.” As simple as it may sound, I introduced Anna to the concept and reality of “stopping.” As I pointed out to Anna, although it seemed as though her life had moved into “fast forward” rather suddenly; in fact, she had been gradually living a life of too much for a long time. But like all mountains that we create, it wasn’t until she reached her maximum point that she could no longer keep up the pace. It was like putting one more item into a too-full suitcase.
So when did it become “too much?” As Anna grew in greater awareness of what she wanted to invest her spirit in, she realized that there was little space for personal growth or nourishment. That’s when she became acutely aware of “too much.”
I began coaching Anna to practice “pausing”—which is the act of doing nothing for a specific period of time (stopping)—from five minutes to five days if desired.
Anna began with five minutes each day. Five minutes was painful for her at first. She associated the space with “wasting time,” “not getting something done,” etc. But by staying with it, the internal uncluttering that she did in the state of stopping for five minutes was very powerful. It required that she be alone with herself. It allowed her to see herself much more clearly and to remember over time who she really was—what she actually wanted. In other words, she began to see her real self—her truth.
To practice “pausing,” simply set aside five minutes a day to do absolutely nothing. Find a refuge—the bathroom if you have kids! Yes, I know they’ll knock, so wait until they go to bed. But do find the time and space. During that period of pausing, remain silent, do nothing—absolutely nothing—and see what happens. Continue this every day, and you will become more and more able to do it. Over time, you will remember important things about yourself.
Pausing will allow you to restore balance and energy to your weary spirit. It may cause you to feel sad, relieved, or even angry. Releasing the feelings within you is a beginning toward mindful living.
Sometimes, when we refuse to allow ourselves stopping points, our bodies make them happen for us. We develop migraines, colds, the flu—ways of making our bodies stop.
Instead, commit to conscious moments in which you pause and do nothing. It is then that you will really be doing something!
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jun 29, 2011 | Heartliving
Each of us carries from childhood a subconscious image in our minds that guides our selection of a partner. When we meet a person who fits this image, we experience a powerful romantic attraction. This process of choosing a partner can be problematic, however, because it is often based on a subconscious composite picture of our total experience (positive and negative) with our primary attachments–our mother and our father! As children, the imprint of our parents helps us to distinguish them from other adults so that we remain connected to them. These images remain with us into adulthood and often guide us to a partner similar to our parents with whom we re-connect to our past issues.
Our hidden desire is to get certain needs met by the partner that were not satisfied by our parents. However the partner, who has aspects of our parents, is likely to become a catalyst for some unresolved childhood issues rather than the nurturing source we had hoped (s)he would be. After an initial honeymoon period, we are likely to be confronted with the reality of our old issues! Still, the relationship represents a chance for both partners to heal their childhood issues by working them through to resolution with each other.
It is most important to create a conscious relationship with yourself and your partner and begin a time of growth and healing. We are called in the relationship to bring our adult awareness and learning to problems of love that we could not solve as children.
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jun 25, 2011 | Heartliving
Today, many of us are aligned with our intellects, living almost exclusively in our heads, while our bodies are encased in layers of armor or tension. The body seems merely to transport the intellect from place to place.
♥ The body is actually a reflection of the soul and has much to tell us about our mind and spirit. The soul’s essence is “connectedness” and our souls and hearts thrive on relationship. Ancient people knew this instinctively. Their survival depended upon their relationship to their environment, to each other, and to their bodies.
♥ As early as childhood, we learn to subjugate painful emotional events. These emotional traumas that the mind forgets are stored in the body in what is called “cellular memory.” We learn to dismiss or cut off signals from the body that remind us of painful experiences.
♥ As adults we too often ignore our bodies because the messages interfere with our daily routines. Our bodies contain a great deal of essential, natural wisdom about when to rest and when to act if we will just listen to its symptoms and sensations.
By listening to the body’s signals and rhythms we can come to full awareness and thus heal our past.
by Cynthia Bischoff | Jun 13, 2011 | Heartliving
How do you weave your spiritual journey into your daily life? Every choice you make leads you toward or away from balance. Being mindful of what you do that affects your body, mind, and spirit is important, and acting on what you know is your key.
♥ Ask: Does this choice make my heart feel heavy or light? While some things we need to do in life feel like a necessary burden, often we take on activities and commitments or even fear-based thoughts that weigh us down. Allow your heart to be a barometer of how you are feeling. If something feels “heavy” on your heart, be willing to let it go or redirect your energy. What might you need to say “no” to that you might have been doing for some time?
♥ Ask: How committed am I to creating a positive change? While you may know exactly what you need to do—for example, you know you would feel better if you exercised three times each week—your knowledge is not enough unless you act on what you know. What kind of structure have you created? Have you set aside a schedule of committed hours to exercise? How disciplined are you? Did you know that the word “discipline” has at its root “disciple” which simply means “to grasp”? Create a structure, establish an accountability partner, and reward yourself (in a healthy way) for staying with your positive commitments.
♥ Ask: How inspired and grateful am I? Remember EVERY day to hold a moment of conscious intent. When you brush your teeth, take your vitamins, or perform some sort of routine activity, associate holding your daily conscious intent with that moment. Simply ask yourself: What do I wish to learn today or how do I wish to experience my life today? DECIDE to have a more satisfying day and you will. Be the witness to a bigger picture of your life and how this day is a significant and valuable experience in it. Be grateful for the opportunity to be alive and live fully today!
Are you a creature of habit and find that old behavioral patterns feel automatic and are hard to break? Next post: “How to ‘Practice the Pause’”
Are you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?
