Leading From The Heart

by | Feb 28, 2016 | Heartliving

I ended last week’s blog by sharing ways to create heart harmony in our lives. This week, I’ll delve deeper, providing methods for leading from the heart and living with conscious intent.

In order to get you more in touch with your heart feelings and to figure out what’s working and what’s not working, ask yourself questions– we spend so much of our lives seeking answers that we often don’t allow for ourselves to ask questions and be patient with the process of living. Two great questions are, “What do I want to bring into my life?” or “What do I want to release?” and they can lead you to think about:

  • An area in your life that might be calling for you to make a change
  • An area where the most or least learning is going on
  • An area in which you feel “stuck”
  • An area in which you could challenge yourself more
  • An area that causes the most pain
  • An area that scares you the most in your life

Also, give some attention to the balance of your body, mind, and spirit. Do you honor your body with movement—whether it’s exercise or yoga or tai chi or walking? Because if you don’t honor your body, it will talk to you—and generally through illness or pain.

If you had to choose one area—body, mind, or spirit—which one would you feel needs the most attention or balance right now? Explore that and attend to that area.

Leading from the heart and maintaining heart harmony may also require that you to live with conscious intention. How do you do that? Here are some helpful suggestions:

  • Slow down and become more focused. If you are living at warp speed (and I know some days I feel this way), it is very hard not to be living in reactionary patterns.
  • “Practice the Pause.” Instead of reacting, just stop, take a deep breath, and reflect before doing or saying anything. Instead of reacting, respond to your circumstances.
  • Adopt a daily ritual. When you get up in the morning take a moment that gets you in touch with conscious intention. Ask yourself, “what is it I wish to accomplish today?” or “what can I do to contribute to a positive outcome today in my world?”
  • Practice holding a “Bird’s Eye View” as a way of living and being in the world. Lift yourself above the situation you find yourself in, especially difficult ones, and hold a bigger picture. You’ll find yourself less caught in the drama.
  • Think less about “what’s missing” in your life and focus on what you do have and what you want to create. For example, instead of focusing on thoughts like “I don’t have enough money,” focus with intention on thoughts, such as “I attract unlimited abundance into my life.”
  • Instead of concentrating on “what has always been”—which usually creates a stuck place– focus on what you want to create. For example, instead of “I can’t change things because they’ve always been that way in this relationship,” why not try thoughts like “I’ll work at being peaceful and complete in myself and contribute positively to this relationship.”
  • Another tip for bringing coherence to your heart and de-stressing yourself is NOT to take things personally. Remember that someone else’s judgment is simply that. Maybe what’s going on with that person has nothing to do with you, so don’t let your own positive feelings and intentions waver. Some people like to hook you in their negativity, too, so remain detached from the drama.
  • Pay attention to your self-talk. Become more conscious of your thoughts. Every thought you have impacts you. So shift “weak” or negative thoughts into ones that strengthen or enhance your well-being.
  • And pay attention to how your family and friends, your workplace, affects you. In an energetic world, we find that the consciousness of your friends, family, and acquaintances will definitely impact you and your consciousness in turn impacts others. Don’t allow others’ behavior and choices to bring you down and vice-versa.

Also realize that the more responsibility you take for what is going on in your life and the more conscious you become of your feelings, you may go into more pain in order to heal. But what’s really important is to know that this is a natural part of the process since you cannot heal what you will not let yourself feel.

Finally, I really believe if you wish to lead from your heart, forgiveness is the ultimate in creating heart harmony.

You know, when you are holding on to negative feelings or hurt about a situation with someone, and haven’t forgiven a person, the person most affected is you because you are still giving energy to them. It’s as though you are plugged into them and leaking your own energy or life force that affects the coherence of your body, mind, and spirit.

But how does a person forgive? You can’t just will it. In next week’s blog I’ll talk about some myths around forgiveness and how forgiving can be a powerful tool for making a difference and improving your heart harmony.

Heart Harmony

by | Feb 21, 2016 | Heartliving

In last week’s blog, I discussed the evolution of our understanding of the heart throughout history, and modern, integrated thoughts about the heart’s role in connecting mind/body/spirit. Today’s blog expounds on contemporary research regarding the heart, well-being, and creating a positive heart rhythm in our lives.

In my exploration about the heart, one author who impressed me perhaps the most was Dean Ornish, a medical doctor, a cardiologist, researcher, and author. One of my favorite books by him is Love and Survival. He suggests that the heart contains energy that affects everything in a person’s life from issues of intimacy, intelligence, and immunity, to love and healing.

Dr. Ornish’s research confirmed that people who grew up in families that were allowed to express themselves or self-disclose were more likely to enter into healthy intimate relationships that, in turn, led to healthier outcomes in regard to physical health later in life. He also suggests that the heart’s electromagnetic field far out-powers that of the brain or any other body system– and since calming the heart calms all other body systems, it makes sense to learn to bring coherence to the heart. Because when your heart is in harmony, its rhythm creates a favorable response of hormones and biochemistry that, in turn, benefits the entire body and your health. Dr. Ornish’s research has shown that through various forms of opening your heart (for example, sharing your feelings and issues and practicing forgiveness), a person is affected physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Dr. Ornish believes that a person is composed of a system of energy that is connected to others and that people can open and shut down this energy system that moves through them when they shut down or close off their hearts. How do they do this? Through fear, worry, stress, negativity and so on. In fact, he says we suffer not because we’re in pain, the real suffering is that we feel we are in pain alone. If on the other hand, we open our heart by making a connection with our outer world and with others in it, he believes that the energy that flows in nourishes us at all levels such that love and intimacy play a very powerful role in a person’s health and even in a person’s survival. He says this is documented by hundreds of scientific studies.

What the research also showed is that while a person can’t change particular events that may have happened earlier in their lives (for example, certain traumas), the ongoing pattern of relating to others is the most important factor in their health and well-being. And that people can change the way in which they relate not only to themselves but to others.

How does a person improve or change negative patterns of relatedness—that perhaps have taken place throughout their lifetime? Dr. Ornish, says that there is tremendous scientific evidence about the importance of spending time talking with people and that a person’s well-being improves if the person does what he calls “opens the heart.”

You could say opening the heart would mean being willing to allow yourself to be open and vulnerable to another person. So even though diet and exercise may help reverse heart disease, Dr. Ornish says that love and intimacy might be the most important factors in heart health. So it’s important to look at what brings joy, value, and meaning into your life.

So how do we create heart harmony or positive heart rhythm in our lives?

  • Disclose what we’re feeling. You can do this by talking with others– either talking with one person or getting involved in a group process that would allow this.
  • Write about how you feel. You can keep a journal, write letters, and take notes in any way that works for you. You can draw your feelings, too.
  • Allow yourself to feel. Remember, “What we resist, persists.” By admitting your feelings you are opening your heart.
  • Love and accept yourself for who you are as you are.
  • Stay with your current feelings and not your old story. The old story will often take you into your mind and out of the present.

When you can acknowledge your feelings and share them, you take a big step toward healing. And along the way, it is so important to ask yourself questions that get you exploring and releasing your heart feelings more.

In next week’s blog, I’ll give you more techniques and tips on exploring and releasing your heart feelings.

 

The Heart’s Journey

by | Feb 14, 2016 | Heartliving

As we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day by showing a friend or love one that we care, I am reflecting about the heart itself, its role in cellular memory and health, and how my own interest in the heart led to a way of teaching and living I call “Heart Living.”

Many of you know I had an incredible experience that changed my life during a trip to Bosnia in 1997 (you can read more about it here). The experience caused me to redirect my life—the work I was doing and the contribution I was making in the world. As a result I created a concept called “Heart Living” which is a way of living that is directed by your heart-consciousness. It is based on the idea that the heart has a unique intelligence unto itself—it is not taken from an idea that living from an emotional stance that people often associated with the heart. Heartliving is about a form of heart intelligence. As I created this way of living and understanding life, creating tools for leading from the heart, I also studied the origin of the heart throughout history. And here are several ideas from that material:

  • The heart symbol itself, the icon-shape that we call the heart, can be traced back to a time before the last Ice Age when Cro-Magnon hunters in Europe used the symbol.
  • Egyptians historically believed that the heart was the center of morality and life. After a person died, according to legend, the heart was taken to the goddess of justice where it was weighed against the weight of a feather. If the person’s heart was lighter than the feather (Feather of Maat—M A A T), the person rose into the afterlife.
  • In Christian theology, the heart has had a major role–the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, seen as emitting light and suffering, was a symbol of love and sacrifice.
  • Ancient Romans understood that the heart was the single most vital organ in the body in regard to sustaining life. And Ancient Greeks, in approximately 400 BC, began to associate the heart as the center of the soul and the source of heat within the body.
  • Languages in all cultures contain phrases and statements placing the heart as important and essential to our connection to life. When people are sincere about their engagement with something, they’ll often make statements like “their heart is in the right place” or they are “doing it with all their heart.” Another common phrase is “If your heart’s not in it, you’re not either.”
  • In Asian culture, it is believed that the body is one’s palace and the heart is the emperor. All the organs are considered lieutenants to the heart. If an organ is problematic or there are symptoms, the entire body’s system is looked at closely. So, for example, the gall bladder is considered the first lieutenant to the heart and if it is acting up, then the question might be “what are you not allowing yourself to feel—or what are you not allowing into your heart?” In other words, more than just a physical issue, there would be attention given to what is also a psychological or spiritual component—what we today refer to as body/mind awareness.
  • Scholars and physicians saw the connection between the heart and lungs and became aware of the heart’s pumping action.  In 1628, English physician William Harvey detailed how blood travelled throughout the body, propelled by the pumping of the heart. This work became a major breakthrough in how the world thought about the human body.
  • Finally, around 1700, historians believed that the “heart” was the single most important word in the human language and referred to the mind and the body.

So where are we today with the heart and research from not only a physical stance but from a body/mind/cellular connection?

Researchers more recently have studied the intelligence and coherence of the heart, believing the heart to have more impact on one’s emotions, mind, and health than ever thought possible. In a nutshell, research has shown that the heart is an Intelligent Cellular System and holds a critical, vital position within the cells and their functions in a person’s body.  It’s also suggested that the heart may hold the greater consciousness of a person’s soul, more so than the mind. The term “heart intelligence” was created from this research and expresses the idea that the heart is an intelligent system that has the power to bring both the emotional and the mental systems into balance and harmony. Managing over 75 trillion cells, the heart is considered the primary electromagnetic center of the body. Heart cells are considered to be more tightly organized and the heart’s internal signal stronger than that produced in any other part of the body, including the brain. Even more impressive, the heart is considered an organ of communication that can potentially manage the body’s intuitive processes. The power of a person’s heart harmony, defined as a “logical connectedness, internal order, or harmony,” directly affects the individual’s health.

So your heart affects other people’s hearts and their hearts affect yours. And of course our hearts affect the global consciousness itself. Every heart contributes and is so important.

If you are as fascinated by the importance of the heart as I am, and want to learn more about leading from the heart, be sure to read next week’s blog on ways to create heart harmony and a positive heart rhythm in your life.

Here’s to your Heart! Happy Valentine’s Day!

On Balance

by | Feb 7, 2016 | Heartliving

Do you long to bring greater balance and meaning into your life?

For more than thirty years, I’ve coached thousands of people internationally. And over the years, I’ve found that it really didn’t matter whether my audience consisted of corporate executives, homemakers, physicians, artists—whatever the occupation—people said the same thing. Their lives were overloaded with work and personal responsibilities and they were just playing catch up every day.

Some people felt that their lives were an exhausting effort to maintain safety and security.

And they tried to make the “right” choices so that they could be in control of their days, only to find that control is just an illusion. The reality is that we’re never really “in control” of anything.

You see, no matter how hard they worked at it, how many measures they put in place, how many times they second guessed what might happen, they found they couldn’t really control what was happening in their world.

They worked in part to have health insurance and found that their work itself affected the very quality of their health.

So, really, what I’ve found in my coaching is that most people are looking for some kind of inspiration and understanding that will lead them to create a more meaningful, balanced life.

I’d like to share a true personal story which I’ve referred to over the years as the “Hamster on the Wheel” story! When my children were young, they were staying overnight at my parents’ house. They had a pet hamster that they loved and fed every day, and there was a little wheel in the cage for the hamster to exercise on.

On this fateful Saturday morning, the kids were gone, I woke up, and lo and behold, our poor little hamster, who was only 2 weeks old, had died.

I called the pet shop, and told them what had happened, and they said reassuringly: “Oh, I’m so sorry. But that happens. Sometimes the hamster forgets to get off the wheel, keeps going without stopping, and has a heart attack. Just bring it in and we’ll give you another one.”

Now—you could not have given me a better analogy for my life at that time. Because I was the proverbial hamster on the wheel. I was working fifty-hour weeks, writing a book, parenting my children, and generally just trying to survive my life.

And we all do this: We get on the wheel of life, move rapidly, and sometimes forget to get off and rest, or forget to decide what’s important and what’s not. We burn ourselves out.

So how do we course correct, gain greater understanding, and change our lives into something worth living?

Here are a few tips:

  • First, pay attention to what you’re saying YES and NO to. If your heart’s not in it, you’re not either. I’ve certainly found that out.
  • Second, take a break and gain a little perspective. Fast forward to your 80th birthday. Imagine that you can look back over your life at that point. What would you have wished was your life?
  • Third, does your life reflect the best version of you? Is what you’re doing, your greatest contribution? You see it doesn’t matter whether you’re president of your company or doing a job of manual labor, you have to ask yourself: Is your heart in it and are you doing it well? Is it a contribution that you’re proud of?

And while each of us didn’t come into this world to be Moses, Gandhi, or some great figure, we did come in to be the best version of ourselves.

So, our freedom lies in going backstage in this Life play, challenging the thought that our dramas are pre-recorded, having the courage to challenge our thinking and to rewrite our scripts, and in general, through these new thoughts and more consciously intended actions– to bring new and better experiences into our lives.

Here’s to a mindful week. . . and life!

Act On What You Know

by | Jan 23, 2016 | Heartliving

How do you weave your spiritual journey into your daily life? Every choice you make leads you toward or away from balance. Being mindful of what you do that affects your body, mind, and spirit is important, and acting on what you know is your key.

Ask: Does this choice make my heart feel heavy or light? While some things we need to do in life feel like a necessary burden, often we take on activities and commitments or even fear-based thoughts that weigh us down. Allow your heart to be a barometer of how you are feeling. If something feels “heavy” on your heart, be willing to let it go or redirect your energy. What might you need to say “no” to that you might have been doing for some time?

Ask: How committed am I to creating a positive change? While you may know exactly what you need to do—for example, you know you would feel better if you exercised three times each week—your knowledge is not enough unless you act on what you know. What kind of structure have you created? Have you set aside a schedule of committed hours to exercise? How disciplined are you? Did you know that the word “discipline” has at its root “disciple” which simply means “to grasp”? Create a structure, establish an accountability partner, and reward yourself (in a healthy way) for staying with your positive commitments.

Ask: How inspired and grateful am I? Remember EVERY day to hold a moment of conscious intent. When you brush your teeth, take your vitamins, or perform some sort of routine activity, associate holding your daily conscious intent with that moment. Simply ask yourself: What do I wish to learn today or how do I wish to experience my life today? DECIDE to have a more satisfying day and you will. Be the witness to a bigger picture of your life and how this day is a significant and valuable experience in it. Be grateful for the opportunity to be alive and live fully today!