Throughout life, we encounter relationship challenges.  Perhaps we feel hurt by someone.  When these moments arise, we may indeed feel a wound from the experience that unfortunately can continue long after the hurtful event has occurred.  If that has happened, you may continue to feel the wound as long as you relate to the person as an “enemy” or you continue to remember the hurtful situation. Unfortunately, if you get caught in a psychological complex, you may even wear the hurt like a negative “badge of honor”!

Worse yet, if you keep the person in that role of enemy, even if you are not doing it consciously, you may continue to play out the role of victim and hold the other person to be perpetrator.  The only way to change the relationship is to change the way you think about and relate to this person.  How?

Ask yourself:  Is it possible for me to remember a time when this person was kind or showed love and compassion toward me or even toward someone else?  One client told me that she simply thinks of the person as having been at some point a small, vulnerable child, and this allows her to have more compassion for the person.

If you can focus your thoughts on the person from a positive view, you may be able to find some goodness within him or her. Your kinder thoughts do not change that the past happened, but your new outlook can free you of the negative connection that you might be holding.  By investing in more positive thoughts, you will gain more positive “dividends.”

Keep in mind above all that no one is perfect—-not you—-nor this person.  Remember that no one is all good or all bad.

If you are able to send out positive energy to this person—-whether in their presence or from a distance—-you can allow them to meet healthier expectations that you hold about them.  As you free yourself from negative feelings, you will raise your vibration as well as your expectations. You will also free the other person as well as yourself from negative bondage.

You will manifest what you expect, including how you hold other people to be.

So expect good people and good things to come to you!