Hunger exists in many forms. There is the hunger for food, but also the hunger for love, for purpose, for truth . . . and the hunger for a life that reflects that truth.

When an individual consistently or compulsively overeats, it may be unconsciously aimed at satisfying a hunger for something other than just food. It is important to recognize that the primary driving forces underlying overeating are often our deeply hidden wishes and fears. Understanding this is the first step toward feeding the true hunger.

Next, it is essential to become aware of any medical problems that might contribute to the overweight condition. Once that is addressed, if you are consistently unable to lose weight or keep it off and find yourself overeating, while you may be aware only of your wish to be thin, you must recognize that another wish does exist, whether it is conscious or unconscious. Your wish to be thin must override all your other wishes for it to be fulfilled.

It is often astonishing to become aware of our internal wishes that have been operating without our awareness. Some people unconsciously overeat as a way of symbolically recovering the feeling of being cared for. Eating has little to do with real hunger, but rather relates to a hunger for love. Eating is accompanied by the safe feeling of being nurtured and fed.

Some people use food to comfort themselves and have learned that when they cannot have another object (a person or thing), that they can have food to soothe themselves. In their families of origin, was food a substitute for love or nurturing or was it closely connected to nurturing or positive feelings?

If you are aware that your eating symbolically represents supplying love or nurturing to yourself, then it is critical that you also realize that overeating is not actually going to fulfill those needs.

Know that you can get these nurturing feelings in other ways, such as indulging in a good book, a friend’s company, a massage, a creative hobby, or a supportive group event as wonderful heart food that may be more sustaining. The important thing is to understand what’s driving the true hunger.